You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
