i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
