just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
