ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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