I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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