One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
