I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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