this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
