I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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