I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
