Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
