Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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