bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
