No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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