you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
