It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Fuck appropriateness.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
