I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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