Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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