Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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