Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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