screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
