do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize