i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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