Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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