it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
