this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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