4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
