what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
