We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
