She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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