This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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