OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
