i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
