I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
