Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
