she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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