So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
