Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
