What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
