that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
