I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
