She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
