I CAN MOONWALK!
You can't motorboat a personality
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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