Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You were trust falling into bushes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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