Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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