I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is it penis luge time yet?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
