ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
