Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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