you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize