Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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