either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
