I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
