do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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