it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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