You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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