I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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