hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
