I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
