Got a toothbrush?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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