just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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