I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
accomplished twins. life is a go
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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