just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
