Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
