Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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