So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
