Soap is not a condiment
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize