so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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