He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize